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False Teeth

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.

 

The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.

 

The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

 

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.

 

The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he could not talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. However, the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he could not shut up.

 

The Black Bra

Mary, Barbara and Bridget had lunch together.

Bridget is engaged, Barbara is a mistress and Mary has been married for 20+ years.

 

They were chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men by greeting them at the door, wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over the eyes. They agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

 

Here is how it all went.

 

Bridget:

The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, “Wow, you are the woman of my dreams. I love you.” Then we made passionate love all night long.

 

Barbara:

Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and a mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night long.

 

Then Mary had to share her story:

When my husband came home, I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.

When he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Zorro?"

 

*****

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